The Pain Of Miscarriage
When a woman suffers a miscarriage it is a very traumatic experience. The reality of the situation is that you and your partner have lost a baby. What to do?, Whom to talk to?, Who will understand what I am going through?
Medical professionals and others that have suffered similar losses can and do have your best interests at heart. Not wanting to talk about what happened and “I’ll be OK” can be first action of the person. “If I keep it quite no one will know”. Being off work or out of circulation may help or be the way to deal with it. “I had the flu” or “I wasn’t myself” will work with your colleagues and friends, but not in the mind. Hiding from others is a natural response.
All of a sudden, from being an expectant mother and looking forward to a new life developing you have gone to finding your self sitting down, trying to acknowledge what has happened and trying to return to normality without the reality of accepting the huge loss
You have just lost a baby. And it has dropped you into a place where you can’t grieve or show despair without alerting others. So, why keep it a secret? Or why do so many women keep it a secret.
Miscarriage is death. It brings with it all the agonizing grief that comes with losing a loved one. But miscarriage is also a taboo topic.
It’s the very reason that many women hide their pregnancies during those first dicey months, fretfully waiting for the danger to abate before making any announcements.
Safe & Non-judgemental
When bad news comes, couples that lose a pregnancy tend to mourn in secret, telling only close friends and family about their loss. There are no funerals. No memorials. You don’t get sympathy cards and bereavement time. Instead, routines go on, and you take sick days. In fact, the only tradition our society does have regarding miscarriage is that you’re not supposed to talk about it.
We expect grieving couples to buck up and pretend that the little life lost never existed in the first place. We reduce a miracle to a topic not fit for polite conversation. An estimated one in seven pregnancies ends in miscarriage. Counselling and Psychotherapy offer a safe non-judgemental place to talk and help understand what you are going through individually or as a couple.
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