Jealousy
Counselling to help with Jealousy
According to Webster’s dictionary, jealousy is described as “the state of being jealous.” In order to unravel the circular reasoning we must discover what jealous means. Jealous is a resentful envy as of someone’s success, achievements, advantages, personality looks, and abilities.
Envy and jealousy are closely related. Envy means a longing to possess something awarded to or achieved by another. Jealousy, on the other hand, denotes a feeling of resentment that another has gained something that one more rightfully deserves. Jealousy also refers to anguish caused by fear of losing someone or something to a rival.
As you may have gathered from the above explanations, jealousy can be unhealthy or healthy, depending on your motivation. Unhealthy jealousy stems from fear, insecurity, deception, or covetousness. When you feel yourself acting out in jealousy, you need to examine the reason why you feel jealous.
Does a threat truly exist or is your perception off base? When you are battling insecurity, another person’s achievements and qualities may come across to you as a threat.
For example, a co-worker gets a raise for putting in extra hours on an important subject. Instead of being thrilled for him, you feel jealous even though you did not put the same hours in. You take his promotion as a personal reflection on you.
In a relationship you give power to your partner through feelings of inadequacy and delusions of not being good enough or insecurity. I don’t deserve him / her – begin to creep in to your thoughts.
If we are deeply addicted to our lovers attention, love, and admiration, but feel that we don’t deserve it for whatever reason, we will start to worry about her leaving us or moving on. Then jealousy starts to kick in. This perception is only in our head, and we tend to over analyze things, assigning them value that is non-existent. Our own fear of her leaving us for a better looking man, makes us see any man we consider better looking a threat. Although he may approach her and they have a normal conversation, jealousy makes us worry about the exchange.
Every little thing he or she does is calculated as for or against us. These things aren’t really happening, but in our mind our fear consumes us. Jealousy is a manifestation of our own fears and worries, and often if we don’t get it in check- inside ourselves, not externally in the outside world, we can generate a self fulfilling prophecy of losing the one we love and need.
Stop, Think & Admit
Next time you feel the pangs of jealousy creep into your chest stop, think, and admit to the though is real of been jealous. Once you discover why you are jealous you need to deal with the issue through counselling.
Jealousy is not all bad. A healthy jealousy needs to be developed in family relationships. This type of jealousy is a protective fight to maintain your relationships. Would you sit by while a person seduces your spouse or deceives your child? No, you would fight for them. You would do all you could to declare truth. This is why you need to admit truth also to self around issues with jealousy.
There are many definitions on what Jealousy actually is and where it originates. If you suffer from an overpowering feeling of Jealousy in many aspects of life and relationships and it is having serious effects on your life then counselling for Jealousy offers a greater insight and helps change this insecure or not good enough feeling.
What does counselling offer and how does it help?
Counselling for Jealousy offers a safe place to talk about and admit to this issue of been jealous.
It uncovers the roots of the issues around the Jealousy and offers deeper insight helping the individual to improve self esteem and confidence Jealousy can be fixed, it can be torn apart and figured out, but to admit it is a problem and that you want to change is the first step.
With counselling You will work on how you see yourself, your self esteem, and control your thought stream/internal dialogue.
The real problem here are with self and once that is admitted it can be dealt with, all external factors, rather illusions you create to rationalize your feelings, disappear, and confidence grows
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